LL Sends Video, Causes Cerebral Aneurysm

Despite LL having lived in the US for many years and now being a citizen, there are still some obvious cultural differences.

For example, there's a song from which she's sung a snippet of chorus for as long as I've known her. Something about "Boom boom boom, let's go back to my room." I'd never heard this song anywhere else. After our years together, she last night sent me a link to a YouTube video of said song.

I think she wants to kill me. The song is by someone named Paul Lekakis; I'd never heard of him. Nonetheless, I think this may qualify as the worst song of all time. Listening to it was physically uncomfortable. In fact, I could only get through the first 1:05 of the thing before I had to make it stop. It's horrible. I'm going to do the only sensible thing, then, and allow you, the reader, the opportunity to share my pain. Out of responsibility, though, I'll include an appropriate warning:

Worst. Song. Ever.

If you watch this thing all the way through, I'm convinced, you will die in seven days. Paul Lekakis will crawl out of your monitor and do you in.

According to LL, this song was quite popular when she lived in Lebanon. Perhaps it may have something to do with the collapse of that country...

Sphere: Related Content

The Massholes Have Landed

LL and I are in Pennsylvania and happy to be out of the car. Very, very happy. We didn't hit any traffic and actually made very good time, but it's still a long drive. Our GPS unit, AKA the Lady in the Box, decided to throw a tantrum a few miles outside of Scranton but hey, who hasn't thrown a tantrum or two around there?

Our rental car for the trip is a 2009 Chrysler Sebring. It would make an excellent golf cart. Still, it got good mileage and we've arrived in one piece. That's all that matters.

Our hotel room is quite adequate for our purposes for the evening... sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a tremendously fun day.

Sphere: Related Content

A Few Irreligious Thoughts to Ponder

You've probably heard by now about a certain presumptuous jackass of a columnist named Jim Griffith who writes for the Newnan, Georgia Times-Herald. Griffith has achieved 15 minutes of Internet infamy by penning a column entitled "A few religious thoughts to ponder." In it, he explains how terrible Thanksgiving is for atheists:

Thanksgiving must be a terrible time for atheists. They have no God to thank.

They do not have the privilege of gathering with family and friends to express gratitude by saying: "Praise God from whom all blessings flow." An atheist on his deathbed faces serious uncertainties. Gazing upward, he pleads: "Oh God, if there is a God, please save my soul -- if I have one."

The column was found out and replied to by a series of atheists objecting to such nonsense and, after less than two days, the newspaper saw fit to close the comments so that no more respondents could rake Griffith over the coals for being, as I said, a presumptuous jackass. I've checked other items in the newspaper, including other columns by Griffith, and none of them have had their comments closed after many days or weeks. Just this one. Apparently, the Newnan Times-Herald didn't want too many atheists to have the chance to debunk Griffith's garbage by mentioning how they celebrate Thanksgiving — at least not in a forum that locals were likely to see. It just won't do for a newspaper to report inadvertently that atheists celebrate the holiday in much the same way that non-atheists do and that the atheists are, after all, human beings with families, affections and gratitude. At least, it won't do for the small-time newspaper to reveal these truths to the residents of Newnan, GA.

As a result, those of us who didn't have the chance to respond to Jim Griffith's "few thoughts," which I suspect are a very few, at the paper's website during the 36 hours in which the opportunity to do so was available will have to do it elsewhere. I'll do it here.

I have a lot of things for which to be thankful this year, and not a single iota of it requires or has anything to do with any deities whatsoever.

Like many people across America, regardless of their beliefs, I will be joining my family to celebrate the holiday. LL and I will be leaving within the next couple of hours to head to north central Pennsylvania, just as we did last year. You may not see it readily, but there's a lot of gratitude embodied in that last sentence.

First off, I'm thankful for having gotten through another year during which a blindly religious president mismanaged the country in which I live into numerous hardships. I survived that year despite the existence of religious radicals in other countries who would like to see people like me dead... and when I say "people like me," I mean Americans. They want to inflict pain upon us because their religious fundamentalism calls for violence against people with whom they disagree. I'm thankful that this faith-stuffed anti-intellectual will soon be a former president and that his replacement might actually turn out to be a person of intelligence and ability who could wind up improving things, even if only a little. 2008 hasn't been a very good year for my country and I'm glad it's almost over. I'm thankful to the 7,000,000 people, too, who may well have changed the course of history during the last election. We shall see what really happens in the months and years ahead, but I'm thankful for at least having the hope that it won't be the same as what's gone before.

I'm thankful that I'm getting to spend another Thanksgiving with my sister, niece and brother-in-law. My sister and I had no contact at all for more than a decade, and this was in no small part due to religious belief. My parents found much to hate about the world and about differences of opinion and about people who are different from them thanks to their faith, you see, and they disowned first me in part because of that faith. They told my sister that I was a drug addict, that I was in jail and probably dead, to make as sure as they could that she wouldn't try to find me. When I finally tracked her down, I learned that she had been similarly disowned for the grievous sin of falling in love with someone of a different faith than that of our parents — even though neither my sister nor he practiced any religion at all. When they got married, nobody from my family came to the wedding other than myself. I gave the bride away. Tomorrow, we'll celebrate Thanksgiving together, along with my rather precocious niece and the rest of our non-traditional clan, none of whom are particularly religious and several of whom are outright non-believers. How could I not be grateful for this? The only involvement of a deity here, at least the imagining of one, was to drive people apart.

LL is coming with me, of course. This year, we celebrated our twelfth anniversary together. LL comes from a country in which religious differences led to a generation-long civil war in which members of her family and friends of her family died in terrible and inhumane ways. Her cousin, for example, was detained by a Syrian-backed militia, hauled away to Syria, and tortured for years. She spent long stretches of time huddled with her family in an underground parking garage hoping to avoid being shot or blown up by Syrians and Israelis and their proxies — all on the basis of ancient religious divisions. Survive it she did, though, and this year she became a US citizen and voted in an election for the first time in her entire life. I am thankful that LL is here with me, relatively safe and about to enjoy the holiday. I'm thankful that she survived a long and terrible war, that she made it to the US, and that she's stuck by me all these years, through the best of times and the not-so-good.

I'm thankful to the university I attend and to the people there who give of their time and knowledge as I grind away at earning a graduate degree. There was a time in my life, not so long ago, during which I never thought that I could get this far. I worked hard and here I am, but the opportunity had to be offered by others, too. I have that opportunity and am grateful for it.

I'm thankful that Tycho, a lizard who has practically been family, has survived another year, despite last year's unwarranted death sentence. He's sitting near my shoulder as I write this, probably wondering when breakfast is coming. Alas, the weather is too cold for Tycho to make the trip to Pennsylvania with us this year. He's going to be rather bored with no humans to entertain him for the four days we'll be gone. Tycho has worked out a lot of things in his long lizard lifetime, but how to work the TV remote isn't one of them. I expect that he'll spend much of his time asleep. In any case, he's exceeded the average lifetime of a member of his species in captivity by nearly a third now and is still in good health. Thank you, Tycho, for sticking around for so long. There will be lobster roaches and macaroni and cheese when we return. I suppose someone could argue that some deity is allowing Tycho to go on living. You know, Lizard-Jesus or HerpAllah or something. That would be a very childish person, but I'm sure someone who will read this will have the thought cross their mind.

Which brings me to another bunch for which I'm thankful, and that is the many people who have fought and are still fighting to reverse the ever-threatening flood of irrationality that might otherwise engulf us all and snuff out the light of the Enlightenment. They keep us progressing, sometimes at great cost. They're the ones who hope to remove the motivations for these religious wars and faith-based familial decay, who object to and dissect and defeat all the magical thinking that is only a hair's breadth away from complete ascendancy at times. I'm grateful to the teachers, the scientists, the historians, the living human memory-banks who remember the past and dedicate themselves to our not repeating it.

There is more — much more — but I have to get ready now to hit the road. It's a long drive from here to there. All things considered, I'm thankful to be making that six hour schlep today.

And you know what, Jim Griffith of the Newnan, Georgia Times-Herald? I'm even grateful to you today. You've given me one more reminder of how low we humans can sink if we decide to measure the worth of others with yardsticks designed and built of our own narrow views. You're a good cautionary example of just how wrong we can be, and thus how wrong whole societies can go, when our eyes get so full of our own self-esteem that we place ourselves in judgment of the rest of the world based on nothing but the desire to be thankful to anything other than that little fraction of humanity it is our privilege, and sometimes our burden, to actually know.

Like the majority of Americans, I'll be celebrating Thanksgiving with a ridiculously large meal on Thursday evening. Like those millions of other Americans, there's something else I'll be doing early on Friday morning. It's then that I will be thinking most of Mr. Griffith.

Sphere: Related Content

LL Explains: Cloning Copernicus is a Bad Idea

LL got back from Tallahassee last night. One of the things I miss most when she's away is our morning conversation over coffee. She comes up with the most insightful things sometimes. Sometimes, I just have to write them down.

LL: If I get inspired and motivated today, I might put up the new curtains.
Me: Well, here's something inspiring. Did you hear that they found Copernicus?
LL:: I did! That's really cool.
Me:: Now that they've found him, they can bring him back. Maybe they'll clone him like they're talking about doing with the mammoth.
LL: If they brought Copernicus back, do you think he could get anything accomplished with the Internet?
Me: The Internet? Huh?
LL: They'd think he'd do all this great stuff with the Internet, but he'd probably wind up looking at porn all day.
Me: Ummm... well... maybe...
LL: He'd click on all the pop ups, too. He'd get viruses all over the net.
Me: So Copernicus would destroy the Internet?
LL: Yeah, and then everybody would hate him and I'd never finish my dissertation, too.

It all makes perfect sense.

Sphere: Related Content

First Winter Cold

I believe I have my first real winter cold. It started yesterday with a tickle in the throat when I woke up, but by the time I taught my first bio lab this had progressed to a sore throat and loss of voice. Three hours later my throat and voice were almost completely shot and a cough came on as well. By the time I finished my second biology lab section at around 8:30 PM, my throat was on fire and my voice completely shot.

This morning, I woke up at 3:30 with a pounding headache, a cough, a mild (100°) fever and an utterly raw throat. I've spent most of the day since in bed, which is where I plan on spending much of the rest of it as well.

This is what happens when one gets locked in a room with students for six hours every week, the temperature drops by about 30° in a single day, and sleep has been in short supply.

LL gets back from Florida tomorrow, having successfully defended her prospectus. I'm hoping to be in better shape by then. My other plans for the day include chicken broth and a couple of movies from Netflix. I should be getting Lucio Fulci's Beatrice Cenci and The Dead Pit today. And sleep, too. Nyquil is my friend.

Sphere: Related Content

Baba Sushi: Overloud, Overpriced and Overrated (a Worcester Restaurant Review)

After LL's talk last night, we decided to go out for some sushi and sake and unwind for a bit. Knowing that Baba Sushi (309 Park Ave., Worcester) had been voted the best sushi restaurant for 2008 by the readers of Worcester Magazine, it seemed like the place to go. Having now experienced it, I can only wonder why this place would top the list.

There was nothing wrong with the food. The fish was fresh and the presentation was nice. The place was packed, particularly considering that it was a Monday night. Then again, it doesn't take much to pack a place as small as Baba. There are six small tables shoehorned into an area about as large as a typical living room along with a sushi bar and another for drinks. We were seated at the last available table, and there was no more than a foot of space between ourselves and the diner at the next table.

The first thing we noticed was the noise level. Whether or not Baba Sushi is really the best sushi restaurant in town may be entirely subjective, but I have no doubt at all that it's the loudest. Much of the clientele appeared to be students from local campuses and those at the bar certainly had a few in them. The bartender was joining in with their revelry, and in such a small space the sound seemed to bounce off the walls and become amplified. Add to that the conversations of the diners and the nearly-constant ringing of cell phones, not to mention the more-than-adequate volume of the flamenco guitar music played over the speakers, and the sum is a cacophony so loud that carrying on a normal conversation was quite impossible. Everyone was shouting, it seemed. At times, the situation bordered on painful.

We were a bit taken aback by the pricing on Baba's menu. Sushi is often a bit pricey, but Baba's prices track toward the shameless in comparison to the many other restaurants of the same genre that I've been to, both in Worcester and in San Francisco. I never order the most expensive thing on the menu the first time that I go to a new restaurant. It's a practical thing; I get a less-expensive dish the first time rather than blow a bigger chunk of change on an expensive failure. LL and I decided to try the sushi and sashimi combination from the set menu, a chef's choice entree of 8 sushi and 12 sashimi ($36.00) and a carafe of sake ($15.00). Our waiter seemed disappointed by our choice. No, let me rephrase that. Our waiter disapproved of our choice and didn't mind questioning our judgment. Our impression was that we were being told that we simply weren't spending enough money; LL and I both were surprised by the pointed manner in which we were asked, "Is that all you're having?" I can't say that I recall ever being asked that question before.

At other sushi restaurants to which I've gone, a fixed menu entree is usually accompanied by miso soup and a small salad, so when our waiter asked if we wanted those items, we assented. At Baba, though, there is an extra charge for these things, so if you don't want to spend the extra money for them keep this in mind. The salad, a combination of seaweed and shredded daikon, was presented nicely in a blue martini glass but was nothing different from what I've had at any number of sushi restaurants previously and the miso soup was, well, miso soup. The small carafe of sake was, similarly, just like the hot sake one gets at sushi restaurants that don't have extensive wine lists. The difference is that it cost almost twice as much as it does at those other places.

When our entree arrived at our table, we were a little disappointed to find that the chef's choice in this case was to give us the most pedestrian of combinations. Both the sashimi and the sushi consisted entirely of maguro tuna, salmon and a white fish that I suspect was mackerel even though the last is not on the menu. There was no variety here, and while the fish was fresh, it was nothing particularly interesting. The presentation of the entree wasn't bad, but it wasn't brilliant, either. It was, in short, like any other sit-down sushi restaurant I've ever been to.

After the main course, I ordered 2 pieces of tobiko sushi, a favorite of mine. The small portions of flying fish roe were served in a thick seaweed wrapper which, in turn, was warmed up a bit. This was a nice touch, perhaps the only one we witnessed during our visit. There was nothing about our meal, certainly, that made up for the terrifically noisy, crowded conditions nor the slightly grungy physical environment.

All in all, LL and I agreed that we won't be going back to Baba. It's not our kind of place and, to our thinking, not at all worth the prices charged. We can get the same food for less at Sakura Tokyo, which is far more spacious, cleaner, and quieter than Baba, not to mention lacking the general attitude from a snooty waiter with which our order was taken.

I don't know the mechanics of Baba's winning accolades from WoMag's readers worked, but I can't say that I found any reason to agree with their award.

Sphere: Related Content

LL's Talk and the AV Meltdown

LL's talk at Holy Cross was well-attended last night. About 60 people showed up, including students and faculty. The chairs or directors of the Anthropology, Women's and Gender Studies, and African Studies departments and programs all came. Her presentation was well-received, eliciting a number of questions from the audience as well as complements from faculty members afterward. As a sort of preliminary job talk, it seemed to go well.

Any success, however, was muted a bit by a negligent audio-video technician. After initially setting up for the presentation, this student worker (I think his name was Lowell) disappeared. Everything was working when he left, but shortly before LL's talk was to begin, the podium microphone stopped working. So did the audio linked to her laptop. She had to give her presentation without the benefit of voice amplification. She also spent hours working on English subtitles for African music video and film clips that address the subject of FGM, but despite having tested them on the system to be used for the presentation there was no audio for two of the clips and the third one wouldn't play at all. As the central theme of her talk revolved around the use of popular culture media in Africa by Africans in their growing resistance to the practice of FGM, this was more than a little bit of a problem. Despite several people trying to get things working, nobody could figure out how to do it. LL got flustered but managed to soldier on through the presentation.

We found out afterward from a couple of other faculty members that the room in which LL spoke frequently has AV problems. I'd go so far as to say that it's notoriously problematic for creating problems for speakers. Why the AV guy would decide to disappear like he did makes no sense. I suppose he just didn't care; he must have had better things to do than to stick around and keep things in working order. As LL put it to me just now when I told her I was writing about this today, "Lowell needs his ass kicked." I'm sure she means that metaphorically.

Nonetheless, the reception afterward was quite nice. LL had the chance to speak at length with several faculty leaders and I got the opportunity to have a talk with Shawn Maurer, Director of Women's and Gender Studies. We swapped stories about going to school in the south (she did her PhD in Texas) and the culture wars. It turns out that her husband is a friend of Jerry Coyne's, too.

In any case, from what I overheard and what she told me afterward, it sounds like LL's talk went over quite well with people important in terms of her getting the tenure-track spot in Anthropology. The chair of the department mentioned that only a dozen or so people show up for presentations, so having something like five times that number come out can only be a positive. We're keeping our fingers crossed.

This morning, LL is off to Florida to defend her prospectus before her committee at FSU. I think she's going to be very glad when this week is over.

Sphere: Related Content

LL's FGM Talk is in One Hour

In just one hour from now, LL will be giving the single greatest talk on female genital mutilation ever given in the history of mankind. If you're within an hour of Worcester, MA and you miss it, you have nobody to blame but yourself. When all your Wormtown co-workers are talking about resistance to FGM in African culture around the water cooler tomorrow, you'll have nothing good to say about it.

You don't want to miss this. You just don't. Get thee hence to Smith Hall on the campus of the College of the Holy Cross!

Sphere: Related Content

LL Giving Talk About Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) at Holy Cross

Yeah, I'm a little proud.

Female genital mutilation, also known as female genital cutting, FGC and FGM, is still practiced in some parts of the world. While a cultural practice, in some quarters it has inappropriately been attributed as a specifically Islamic practice. LL has been a leader and coordinator in changing this situation for years now. Among other activities, she is the director of the The Female Genital Cutting Education and Networking Project.

She's right here in Worcester, folks. Please consider coming out to her talk at Holy Cross on Monday, 11/17.

Sphere: Related Content

American LL: Citizenship Day 2008 at Fenway Park

LL officially became a US citizen yesterday at Citizenship Day 2008, which took place at Fenway Park. Just over 3,000 other immigrants did as well. The event was huge, disorganized and took more than five hours to complete. It included lots of canned patriotism, not the least of which was a videotaped message from Dubya congratulating the newly-minted Americans on having achieved citizenship — inexplicably shown before the oath was administered. The event also included lots of religious hoo-hah; god bless this and that and the other thing. The event was also a great advertising opportunity for the Red Sox. Even as attendees were being shown patriotic imagery and having certain bits of the Constitution explained incorrectly to them (since when does the second amendment guarantee a right of self-defense with firearms? My copy of the Constitution only has a bit about a "well-regulated militia."), Red Sox marketing was passing out "Red Sox Nation" bracelets, and more than one speaker equated being a Red Sox fan with being a good American. No, really.

For me, there was a certain irony to the repeated advising of the new citizens to get involved and learn English and such. LL speaks and writes English better than the majority of people born in this country and she's certainly more involved with the community than most, including myself.

Nonetheless, it was a big ritual and now LL can cast a vote against the religious right wackos and incompetents in the next election, a big part of why she wanted to go through this whole trial in the first place. So, here are some photos.

	Citizenship: It's over there to your left.
	Crowd shot; line up over here. No, line up over there. "If you don't stand behind me, you don't get to be a citizen." The first practical lesson in American civics: shut up, take out your paperwork and get in line. Everyone being sworn in was instructed to show up at the ballpark at the same time and funneled in through a single gate, even though they had "appointments" at three different times. Most of these people don't speak English as their primary language. The result was a great deal of confusion and consternation. You can see the many happy, smiling faces in which this resulted in this shot.
	The notices everyone received in the mail told them to report to Gate D for the ceremony, but Gate D was closed and the crowd was told to go to Gate B instead upon arrival. Is this what they mean by "mass migration?"
	In case you didn't know which ballpark you were at, the sign on the Jumbotron was there to remind you, along with a rotating Red Sox logo. There were many reminders throughout the day of how the Red Sox are patriotic. Be a Red Sox fan... be a Red Sox fan... did we mention that you should be a Red Sox fan? Nobody leaves the stadium until they pledge allegiance to the Red Sox, goddamit.
	Once we entered the stadium, those who were being naturalized and their guests were separated into two groups. The immigrants were sent to the left, the guests to the right. The immigrants were tagged with bracelets and nobody lacking such a bracelet was allowed into the half of the stadium where the immigrants were seated... for two hours before the ceremony actually began. The immigrants were, however, allowed to visit their guests in the other half of the stadium. Here, LL makes her way over to sit with me since we were both bored out of our skull as we sat there waiting for something to happen. She later went to the concession stand and brought me food, since there was a concession on the immigrant side of the park and we were told that we shouldn't go back out into the hallway due to problems checking people in. I couldn't get to the concessions until after the ceremony. All in all, it was a zoo!
	Still, LL and I made the best of the situation. That's not saying much... our butts were already going numb by the time this shot was taken. The Venezualan kid sitting behind me was falling asleep. I wouldn't have missed this for anything, though, since it's a marker in LL's life. Even if it was five hours of ritual nonsense that could have been done with a five minute oath and a piece of paper.
	On command, wave those flags! These people aren't immigrants; this is in the guest section. Many tiny cameras were also present. The flags themselves were made in China.
	The very first photo of LL as an American citizen. She looks more American in this shot, doesn't she? The certificate says that she's one of us now (Gooble gobble gooble gobble, one of us... one of us...) As a waitress told her when we went for dinner at the Eastern Standard when LL told her she'd been born in Lebanon, "Welcome to our side." I hadn't known that LL was on the other side previously! But she's 'merkin now.
	The good news: George Dubya Bush's signature didn't appear on the certificate. Some guy from Homeland Security's signature was on it instead, I think. Neither LL nor I had ever heard of him before. We arrived at the stadium at 10:30 AM. It was 3:30 PM when I took this shot. I think it shows in LL"s face here. Still, the paper says she's 'merkin now and, thankfully, doesn't also say that she's a Red Sox fan. I'm sure that part was just an oversight.
	LL washes her hands as an American for the first time. The hand sanitizer she used was made in China.
	LL's first bloody mary... as an American. Nice eyes.
	LL calls her mom in Lebanon for the first time as an American. She still spoke that funny language that's nothing like English, so maybe the waitress was wrong about her being on "our side" now. I'll have to keep an eye on her for the next lifetime or so.
	LL's first raw oyster as an American. The oyster came from Duxbury, MA and not, thankfully, from China. She's eating it at the Eastern Standard restaurant in Boston, which is probably good but man, overpriced. A dozen oysters goes for about $30! A bucket of three dozen goes for $18 in Florida. You do the math. Welcome to America! Still, after the loooooong day, all we wanted were some oysters and a couple of drinks. We didn't even bother checking the menu beforehand. We only went to Eastern Standard because their awning says "oysters" right on the thing.
	On the train from Boston to Worcester; does LL look tired? We finally got home just after 8:00. LL is glad this whole citizenship-seeking song-and-dance is over, as am I. If she had to fill out one more stupid form asking whether she was selling "marihuana" (good morning, 1933!) or working as a prostitute... it wouldn't have been pretty. Best question on the forms? "Have you ever given false testimony." Why even bother asking? If you've given it before, why wouldn't you just give it again?

So, yep, LL is officially American now. She'll always be a Lebaneezer to me, though.

Sphere: Related Content

LL's Big Day: New American

Again, my apologies for not keeping up with this blog lately. That will change very soon. However, it's worth breaking the silence to mention that LL is being sworn in as a US citizen today. Her swearing in will take place at Fenway Park in Boston and her certificate will be signed by Dubya — dual ironies, since she's a liberal Yankees fan.

In any case, there will be words and pictures here after the event. Stay tuned.

Sphere: Related Content

A Brief Summary of the Florida Expedition

Today is the last day that I will be here in Florida. The field work has been productive for both myself and my colleague. Each day has begun with our getting up no later than 6 AM, eating breakfast and getting out to the field before 8 AM in hopes of escaping the heat for a little while. That last part hasn't really worked, of course, because this is North Florida in early September we're talking about. A bank sign that gave the temperature in Tallahassee read 100° by the time we came in from the field yesterday.

I've collected numerous specimens of Tenebrionidae, Tetratomidae and Erotylidae. Already winging their way back to Massachusetts are such critters as Platydema ellipticus, Megalodacne heros, Neomida bicornis (the Florida morph, which has an orange prothorax — and which I suspect isn't actually the same species as the Northeastern N. bicornis), and Penthe obliquata. All in all, I've collected at least seven species for which I previously had no specimens and possibly more. I'll be able to better sort this out once I've gotten back to the lab in Worcester. I suspect the final total will be closer to ten. The specimens should be getting back there on Wednesday, and I'll be getting back on Thursday.

As for today, we're going to take care of some housekeeping. My field companion needs to get some water from within a pitcher plant back to her lab in order to culture the yeasts therein. Then we're going to do laundry; sweaty clothes accumulate quickly in this part of the world. After that, we'll play tourist for a bit and see the Florida Caverns in Marianna.

Don't get the impression that this trip has been all work. We've had time in the evenings to hang around with our gracious hosts, toss back a few beers and consume more than our fair share of oysters. It's been quite nice to see a few friends here in Tallahassee for the first time in over a year and also quite remarkable how well my mycological compatriot has fit in with them. She's generally an agreeable sort, of course, as long as one doesn't get between her and her oysters. The woman is a whirlwind of cocktail sauce and spent shells when the things are set before her; one could easily lose an intrusive hand!

I've been studiously avoiding mention of all things non-biological this week and no doubt have a ton of catching up to do on the latest in religious lunacies and electoral nincompooperies, and I could try to write a more detailed entry about this trip. I may still do that over the next few days as time permits. There will soon be photos as well. For now, though, I have to admit that as much as I've enjoyed the company of fellow science geeks and friends here in Florida, I'm feeling just a little bit lazy today. I'll neither be catching up with news nor editing photos today.

I'm also ready to get back home to LL. She's one of the very few things in this world I find even more interesting than a beetle-infested polyporoid fungus, truth be told. Yes, that's actually a compliment, and she's probably the only woman who knows me well enough to understand just how big of one it is.

For now, I'm going to step outside and get my first few breaths of the muggy morning air.

Sphere: Related Content

Exotic Worcester, America's Hidden Gem

As today is Labor Day, a big holiday here in the USA, I thought I'd do something a little different today.

I haven't posted many photos of Worcester since I moved here a year ago. That's an oversight on my part, because Worcester is one of America's most exotic and unusual cities. LL has been going on walks through Worcester every morning for the past few weeks, so today I thought I'd accompany her on a walk from Webster Square to Tatnuck Square and bring along the camera to shoot a few photos of some of the unusual things one would see along the way.

Prepare to be amazed. As you'll see, Worcester is one of America's — nay, the Western Hemisphere's — hidden treasures.

	LL's butt at the beginning of our walk.
	LL's butt a few minutes later.
	Perhaps no radio station in Worcester has a more targeted marketing plan than WXLO, 104.5 FM. For instance, they've figured out that the people who live in this house are their target demographic, so rather than scattering advertising all over town and hoping that they see it, they've simply parked a billboard right on their lawn. The crack marketing team at WXLO has reportedly compiled a list of hardcore Bon Jovi fans in the Worcester metro area and all of them get a similar treatment. Rumor has it that the station's market share is way up because of this campaign. Only in Worcester!
	LL's butt a few more minutes later. Notice the change between shots.
	You're probably wondering about this shot. Every city has a few McDonald's... but this McDonald's can be found only in Worcester, near the intersection of Chandler and Mill. You can get 12 McNuggets for only $3 here! Where else are McNuggets being practically given away? Nowhere! Only in Worcester, the home of discount meat-like blobs! How about that for a marketing slogan, city council?
	Of course, there are more and better dining opportunities in Worcester than just McDonald's. Here, we see LL outside of one of our city's finest Friendly's. I eat at Friendly's restaurants fairly frequently. Sure, there's better food at a few places in town, but with the free happy endings, it's not the food that keeps bringing me back.
	LL's butt even later on the walk. Observant readers will note that it has swung significantly to the right at this point.
	Many people believe that places like New York and Hollywood set fashion trends in America, but they're really only following fads that start out here in Worcester. In this shot, LL models one of the hottest new styles that's catching on like wildfire around town lately — the functional yet sexy knee brace. For those of you who don't reside here in New England's fashion Mecca, this may look a bit odd right now. Wait a few months, though, until all the big actresses and rock stars are wearing these. I've heard a rumor (can't confirm it, though) that Gwen Stefani loves the things and Renee Zelwegger owns at least a dozen. Once again, Worcester leads the way!
	I bet you non-Worcesterites are looking at this photo and thinking, "Meh. Another bland, utilitarian high-density housing development. Ah, but look more closely! Many of these are yellow. Quel magnifique!
	This is the largest "Slow Children" sign in all of New England. It's hard to appreciate it's scale; LL is in the shot to give you some idea of the size of the thing. The sign is a triumph of local technology, requiring nearly two years of research and development followed by over 500 man hours in construction time. The project, funded by several bond initiatives, was undertaken at a cost of nearly $5.3 billion. That may seem excessive, but here in Worcester we like to remember that today's slow children grow up to be the slow leaders of tomorrow.
	About ten years ago, the first killer sunflower seeds arrived in Worcester mixed into a shipment of pink plastic flamingos returned by dissatisfied Danish customers. Today, the deadly carnivorous flowers can be found in many of the outlying parts of town. It took LL more than twenty minutes of wrestling with this flower before she exhausted it enough for me to snap this photo. Her hair tells the story. Moments after this picture was taken, the flower messily devoured a passing Jehovah's Witness. Moral: meat-eating plants do not take kindly to proselytizing.
	The world-famous Ken Chin's Restaurant needs no introduction. If you haven't already heard of it, there's no point in trying to explain it to you now, you poor lost soul.
	LL's butt quite near the end of our walk.
	Considered by many to be one of the triumphs of modern athletic architecture, Colonial Bowling Center offers its clientele alleys with up to ten pins each and the latest in ball return technology. Around here, we simply refer to it as the Eighth Wonder of Worcester.
	Located within walking distance of Worcester Regional Airport, this supermarket with no groceries serves New England's largest air traffic-free airline hub. On the left side of the photo, two conjugating police vehicles can be seen. This area is a breeding ground for police vehicles, which begin their lives as meter maid buggies soon after hatching. They don't reach maturity for several years, so we Worcesterians are very careful to preserve their mating grounds in pristine condition. Note that it is very dangerous to approach police vehicles while they are mating; the males have been known to become very aggressive and injure gawkers who wander too close. Keep a safe distance and avoid any sudden movements that might enrage them.

I hope you've enjoyed this glimpse into Worcester, America's home of discount meat-like blobs. Remember, everything you've seen here was located on just one street among the many that wend their way through this town. If you're considering taking a vacation this year, why not take it in Worcester, Massachusetts? They don't want you to know about the exotic adventures and hedonistic pleasures that this city offers the intrepid traveler... but now you know.

See you soon!

Sphere: Related Content

A Last Excellent Day at MSA

Today was my last day at the MSA conference. There's still one more day left, but for a variety of reasons I have to get up early tomorrow and make the long drive back to Worcester. Not the least of these is the fact that a petty, bureaucratic,politically-motivated dean at Florida State University has taken it upon himself to put up a massive and ridiculous roadblock in the way of LL's quest for a PhD. I won't get into the details; she'll write about it when and if she's ready. All I'll say is that I've never heard of such a moronic, pig-headed thing being done to someone who has been one of the few bright lights for a department that is now being dissolved largely because of the incompetence of another pig-headed bureaucrat in academic clothing. With people like these deans at the helm, I would have to advise anyone considering a PhD program at Florida State to put it as low on their list of possibilities as they can possibly can. If it were a boat, it would have the word "Titanic" painted at the prow.

Other than learning of LL being screwed over yet again, though, today was the kind of day that makes me regret having to leave a day early. Two lablings gave excellent presentations on their research as did my advisor. I take a good deal of pride in being part of this group even if I haven't begun contributing as much as I hope to... soon.

I had lunch today with Joey Spatafora and my advisor and so had the chance to listen in and/or talk about everything from plans for AFTOL2 to Wall-E and The Fantastic Planet. I learned that Joey reads this blog when he recognized me upon our introduction as Mike O'Risal. So did one of the postdocs from his lab. In fact, no fewer than four people I met today already knew me by my nom d'blog. I had best be careful not to mention my rampant crack addiction and penchant for devouring live kittens here. Someone might be looking.

Today was also the day of the Karling Lecture, delivered by Nick Talbot of the University of Exeter. The topic was "Investigating the biology of plant infection by the rice blast fungus Magnaporthe grisea using functional genomics." The rice blast fungus is a problem right up there with the potential of Puccinia graminis Ug99, wiping out up to 30% of the world's rice crops in any given year. Dr. Talbot's work on the mechanisms by which the fungus initiates and spreads infection seems to hold tremendous promise in addressing the problem. Some of the proteomics involved are well beyond the scope of my understanding; I'm not a proteins person by any stretch. Still, even I can grasp that if one can come to an understanding of how the subcellular mechanics of infection work, there's real hope of coming up with a solution.

After the Karling lecture, I met up with Meredith Blackwell and handed her three dead beetles. That might be perceived as an insult in some circles, but not in this one. I'll be sending some live specimens her way in the near future, too, and hopefully we'll be able to exchange some data and materials. I'm particularly looking forward to continued contact with the people I've met from her lab. Even though I don't think I'll be part of the next round of AFTOL research, others in my lab will be and her lab will also be involved, and we're all working on bugs and fungus in one way or another.

I had dinner at a little Indian place called Kaarma just around the corner from my hotel. I was joined by labling RiGa, Dan Durall from the University of British Columbia Okanagan, and Kentaro Hosaka from the National Museum of Nature and Science of Japan. It was a very nice cap to what has been an inspiring few days for me. If you should find yourself in State College, PA, I recommend checking out Kaarma.

I have indeed come away from this conference feeling inspired. I've got some new ideas and am itching to try them out, particularly when I get back from Florida laden with new specimens. Stephanie Gross and I talked today about there being a coleoptera/fungi symbiosis session at next year's MSA meeting. There are a bunch of us out there, and all we need to do is be in the same place at the same time with material to present. The place next year will be Snowbird in Utah and the time will be July 25-30, 2009. Now all I need is the material.

I'll get back to work on that on Thursday.

For now, my priorities are sleep and then the long drive back to Worcester. Sequences await.

Sphere: Related Content

A Splendid Day, a Not So Splendid Movie

It's a rare day that LL and I get to spend entirely together, and today was just such a day. We didn't do anything too unusual; that we did a lot of not much together was the important bit.

Much to my surprise, LL decided that she did want to go out for dinner after all. Seafood was the cuisine of choice, so we went to Coral Seafood Restaurant on Shrewsbury in Worcester. I had the shrimp and scallops with tortellini and she had baked scallops. All of it was terrific. Since her surgery, LL can only eat about 2 to 4 ounces of food every two hours or so. Most of her order came home with us; mine did not. She really does eat like a bird these days, but because she has to chew each mouthful very carefully it takes as long for her to eat a small amount as it does for me to eat... well... probably a little too much. The tortellini really was excellent, like a book I couldn't put down. We talked over dinner about things we hadn't talked about in a long time, from back when we first met, the little apartment she lived in while an intern in Forest Knoll and the Two Birds Restaurant and the first road trip we took together. We talked about how the people who knew us then didn't think we'd last three months, and here we are twelve years later about as happy together as any two people could be.

Because we went to dinner, it was too late by the time we were done to catch the beginning of the ballgame, so we decided to just see a movie instead. LL has a thing about clowns, so The Dark Knight was out. I find Abba about as enjoyable as a honey-dipped roll on a fire ant nest, so Mamma Mia wasn't going to happen. We've both enjoyed Guillermo del Toro's previous work, though (The Devil's Spine and Pan's Labyrinth are high on both of our lists), so we decided to see Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

It was alright for what it was. There wasn't much to it; a typical superhero action flick augmented by visuals similar to those in Pan's Labyrinth. Aside from the imagery, though, there was nothing particularly memorable about Hellboy. Being close in a darkened theater for two hours was the best part of the flick. What was on the screen was largely inconsequential.

It was a splendid day. One must grab those while one can; they don't come around nearly often enough.

Thanks to Jeff, Claudia, Steve and anyone who took the time to wish us a happy anniversary, whether they wrote that wish down or not. It was a happy anniversary, indeed.

LL tells me I'll be seeing certain local bloggers soon, too. I look forward to meeting you in person if we haven't already.

Sphere: Related Content

Year 13 Begins

Today is LL and my anniversary. It marks the end of our twelfth year together and, more importantly, the beginning of our thirteenth.


It's a daunting thing to write about. We've been through a lot together since 1996. Three states, a couple of universities, a couple of careers, wealth and poverty, illness and surgery... I could go on and on. Through all of it, LL has been there for me and that has lent me fortitude and energy to make some intimidating decisions, to take that extra bit of risk because I have had the confidence that no matter how things might come together or fall apart, there was at least this one amazing person, this bellydancing, fire-breathing, computer-hacking cultural anthropologist, who would still be there. Having her in my life has made all the difference.

After talking about the options, we've decided to mark the occasion by watching the Yankees vs. Red Sox game at the cinema tonight. As it's our anniversary and we're Yankees fans in Red Sox territory, we're going to dress appropriately for the occasion. LL survived the Lebanese Civil War; getting through tonight's outing should be a piece of cake. Maybe.

Sphere: Related Content

LL is Back

LL arrived home last night.

Sphere: Related Content

LL Comes Home This Week

It's been a long month, but LL finally gets back from Lebanon this week, her new nose in tow. It looks great, by the way, and I've wanted to post a photo, but the quality from a screen capture on Skype leaves much to be desired.

Friday is our 12^th anniversary. I don't know what we'll be doing to mark the occasion. I have to pay for renewal of my health insurance this week and that pretty well wipes out my bank account until my next stipend payment — which is on Friday, too, so maybe if I get paid early enough I can dash to the bank and have the check clear by dinner time. Maybe we'll go to Surya; I'd say Morocco, but I'm sure LL has had enough Lebanese food for awhile and would like something different.

Or maybe we should do something not involving food at all, come to think of it. Most of the live music in town on Friday night is happening at bars and restaurants, so I don't think that will work out. We could go see the Worcester Shakespeare Festival at Green Hills Park; they're performing A Midsummer Night's Dream and Twelfth Night on Friday evening. Or hey, look, there's a meat raffle at the Belfont in Millbury. What could be more romantic than trying to win meat? Don't answer that.

If I had an extra $200, we could learn how to make glass knobs. Maybe that's a little bit excessive, though. We could buy glass knobs at the hardware store for less than that, and once you've seen one knob you've pretty much seen them all.

We could go watch the Yankees play the Red Sox in high def at the Blackstone Valley Cinema if there are still tickets available. Of course, pulling for the Yankees might be dangerous around here. It's something to think about, though.

It'll be either Shakespeare or the Yankees, I'd wager.

Since LL and I were last on the same side of the planet, she's had all sorts of tune-up work done. She now has perfect teeth and a new nose and has dropped about 20 lbs. I'm still the same old me. It's a little intimidating, really.

If any local readers have suggestions about things LL and I could do for our anniversary that don't cost a lot of money (and I mean "a lot" as defined by graduate student standards), I'd love to see them.

Sphere: Related Content

LL Update from Lebanon

LL has sent a few photos from Lebanon. She's had her nose done and has a thingy on it that looks a bit like a birdcage. She tells me that she's ready to come home, but she won't get here until 7/24. I miss her like crazy, of course, so it's nice to get these additions to our scrapbook.

First, here's a photo of LL relaxing by the seaside in Junieh:


Here's LL's mom, Noha, doing very motherly things involving food:


Finally, here's a high-tech bit of kitchen apparatus that's coming home with LL. I'm told it can do everything from making cappuccino to preparing a pot roast to resurfacing the driveway. I suspect that it's not electronic at all but contains a very small Arab fellow who actually does all the work:

Sphere: Related Content

LL Update

LL and I have been seeing each other over Skype daily since she went to Lebanon. She's now almost fully recovered from last week's surgery, so what's she doing?

She's having another procedure done this week. It's a minor cosmetic procedure done on an outpatient basis to correct something that I've never considered a flaw. It's what she wants, though, and since this procedure is extremely unlikely to threaten her health in any way, more power to her.

We've been referring to this trip of hers as if she were a car. She's returned to the manufacturer for a tune-up, as it were. I just hope I'll still recognize her when she gets back home! I envision waiting around to pick her up on her return and wondering why she's so late as she sits not ten feet away. Good thing we can video-chat over Skype.

And it just so happens that she gets to see Patti Smith perform tomorrow, too. Patti Smith live in Lebanon sounds like a very cool concept.

Sphere: Related Content