June 07, 2007

Flick Review: The Graveyard

The Graveyard
Year: 2006

Sometimes you have to wonder how many times Friday the 13th will get warmed over before people stop making the same story again and again.

In this textureless clone, the rip-offs are particularly obvious. At one point, one of the characters even utters the line, "It's not like Jason is out in the woods looking for victims." The slasher wears a mask. It's just the same old story with the very slightest of differences at the end (hint: revenge killing).

The acting is unconvincing as is the story. The characters in this one do things that are so completely stupid that it kills any hint of suspense. Particularly lousy in this regard is the character of the sheriff (Sam Bologna); from his first scene, anyone who has seen more than three slasher movies will know exactly what's going to happen to him.

One question: what was the editor thinking? Scenes in the movie appear to reel back and forth between day and night shots with no sense of time at all.

Bad, bad stuff here. It would even be impossible to write a spoiler for this flick; if you can't see the end of this movie coming, you're either brain-damaged or under the age of 12.

Rating: No Golden Slop Buckets! None!

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