Gas and Oily Fecal Spotting, Thy Name is Beauty
I have clipped this directly from the website of a new FDA-approved diet drug called Alli:
Not that I would ever endorse bulimia, but wouldn't it be more pleasant to simply stick one's finger down one's throat and vomit? At least there's a hope of controlling such behavior, as opposed to shitting one's pants at work or school.
I'm left wondering whether some subsidiary of GlaxoSmithKline manufactures "adult undergarments" as well. In any case, it must do wonders for someone who is already likely suffering from deficient enough self-esteem to seek out a pharmaceutical weight loss solution to lose control of their bowels, too, don't you think?
In all fairness, the website does advise that those who consider taking the drug should avoid consuming fatty foods. Of course, if they could do that, then they wouldn't need a compound that causes weight loss by preventing the body from absorbing fat. Alli is basically a sort of negative reinforcement therapy; if you eat that nice sundae, you'll be crapping yourself an hour later and suffer painful embarrassment. To that end, I would like to suggest that those wishing to lose weight simply carry around an electrical cord with the wires sticking out of one end. Every time the craving for indulgent foods strikes, simply plug it in and shove the wires up your nose. It's the same principle.
