February 18, 2008

Battery Barons Have Us By the Anodes: It's a Conspiracy!

You've always suspected that the people who make batteries were part of an Evil Alliance. Everyone does. Big Battery has their fingers in every pie, and now I have proof.

A couple of months ago, I needed to replace my keyboard, having pounded my old one nearly into dust. I decided that I was going to go high-tech this time. I was going to get a wireless optical mouse and keyboard. For me, that's pretty high tech.

Since they're wireless, both the mouse and keyboard require batteries. Fine, thought I, I'll be able to type from my bed. No more being tied to cables, no more being leashed to the end of a power cord. I was free to roam the apartment, or at least the room. Why, I could even lie in bed and blog naked if I wanted.

Today, I needed to replace the batteries in the keyboard for the first time. The mouse goes through batteries pretty quickly. I use rechargeable AA-size for it. I keep one set in the recharger and just rotate them in as needed. No problem. Until today.

See, the keyboard takes AAA batteries. Not AA, like the mouse that came in the same box. AAA. I haven't seen rechargeable AAA batteries.

Now, I ask you... why should the mouse take one kind of battery and the keyboard a different kind? There's only one solution. It's the Battery Barons, the Coppertop Conspiracy.

Think I'm kidding? Ever seen a smoke detector that didn't use 9-volt batteries? Is there any good reason for this? How many other devices are there on the market that use 9-volt batteries? It's all part of the same conspiracy.

They're keepin' us down, maaaaaan...

Sphere: Related Content