November 14, 2007

Sweet Buttery Jesus on a Flapjack!

Forgive me, reader, for I have sinned. It has been a very long time since my last Daily Jesus. I had hoped to make this a more regular feature of this blog, but I have no control over the comings and goings of the Holy Ghost.

Rejoice! Salvation has arrived! Jesus and Mary have come to us imprinted on a pancake from Port St. Lucie, Florida!

Holy Pancake Auctioned On eBay

Woman Says Jesus Appeared On Breakfast

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A Port St. Lucie woman said she saw Jesus Christ in her breakfast.

Marilyn Smith told WPBF News 25 that she was making breakfast on Sunday morning when she got a spiritual surprise: a faint image resembling Jesus and Mary on her pancake.

"I saw what looked like, possibly, what people may imagine Jesus would look like, or Moses," Smith said.

Smith's daughter, Dana Okane, told WPBF that she recognized the figures as soon as she saw them.

"Being a very spiritual person, which I am, when I saw that, I said, 'Jesus and Mary!'," Okane told WPBF.

Smith said she was making a batch of pancakes when one of them caught her eye. She said she was just about to put chocolate chips on it when she noticed the strange image on the cake.

Okane told WPBF that she thinks the image is a message from God.

"I think the message is extremely clear that the world had better clean up its act," Okane said.

When asked why she thought God would want to put a message on a pancake, Okane told WPBF reporter Amanda Burden, "Because it will get a lot of recognition."

Okane is now selling the holy cake on Internet auction site eBay with a starting bid of $35.

Okane said she thinks the cake is a miracle, but Smith is a bit more doubtful.

"Do I think that any nut will come along and pay a fortune for it like they did with the cheesecake or cheese sandwich? No, I hope not, because it really will eventually get really smelly and deteriorate," Smith told WPBF.

Smith and Okane said they plan to preserve the pancake for the next few days, then they will ship it off to the highest bidder.

"We used to say, 'Holy cow,' like everybody else, and after this happened, our new expression is, 'Holy pancake!'," Smith told WPBF.

Interested buyers can check out the women's EBay auction by clicking here.
Here's a photo of the Sacred Flapjack of Florida:

Personally, I see things a little differently than Diane Okane. When I look at that pancake, it looks to me like the shorter figure on the right has a mustache and a bad 1970's disco suit. The figure on the left is a taller, long-haired woman. When I squint just right, I see...

Sonny and Cher!

This is clearly a message from the late Sonny Bono. We've all been acting like a bunch of gypsies, tramps and thieves. He's heard it from the people of the town... and he's pissed.

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