January 23, 2008

Lysenkoism, Black Hen's Eggs and Magic Markers: Soon You Will All Be My Mindless Servants!

A scientist from the UN panel that won the Nobel Peace Prize for its study of global warming was supposed to address high school students in Montana. His speech was canceled because residents thought it was anti-agricultural:

High school students in a Montana community won't be hearing from a prominent scientist about climate change.

The school superintendent says the speech has been canceled, because members of the rural community were afraid it would be "anti-agriculture..."

As for the scientist -- Steve Running of the University of Montana -- he says he's never before been canceled in any venue by any organization...

Running is a member of a U.N. science panel that shared last year's Nobel Peace Prize with Al Gore for raising awareness of global warming and its impact on the earth.


Ah, I love the smell of Lysenkoism in the morning.

Luckily, things like the following are widely available to the general public without the need for all that nutty, subversive science stuff:
Black Hen Egg Spell to Drive Enemy Insane

Take a black hen egg, and write your enemy's name backwards on it. Go to their home, and throw the egg over their roof.

If the roof is too high for this to be feasible, you may bury it at their doorstep.


Why am I going through all this PhD-earning stuff when I can achieve my plans for world dominance with nothing more than eggs, a magic marker, and a shovel?

Screw it. I'm dropping out and investing heavily in Sharpies. Soon you will all be under my power! MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

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