August 27, 2008


The American Chronicle describes itself as: online magazine for national, international, state, local, entertainment, sports, and government news. We also provide opinion and feature articles...
It is also a frequent goldmine of truly headsploding woo, but this recent column by "freelance journalist" Theresa J. Thurmond Morris is bizarre by any standard. Before you proceed, go get a roll of duct tape. Wrap your head thoroughly with it. It may be the only way to stop it from exploding due to a massive influx of woo.

OK, head all wrapped up tight?

Let's continue.
Theresa J. Thurmond Morris

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Being human and extraterrestrial is okay. Seeing ET UFOs is fine with me. I am human but does spirit and God exist in my soul? Are we all human souls and mirroring creation?

My name is Theresa Janette Thurmond Morris and am told I am a kind spiritual intellectual. I want to believe that since others perceive me and I desire to mirror back to them their own selves and energy creation. Some say I am an alien hybrid based on my extraordinary experiences. What if me being contacted by ET UFOs is normal?

I propose a theory that we are all here to discover our true selves as extraterrestrial in nature and origin.The time of revealing being human is here. Extra terrestrial beings in ET UFOS are making contact.

We are all of the same sentient intelligent being humanoid species. Some of us may be programmed with misinformation and falsifications...

There are many ways to consider revealing information and personally I have made many mistakes in my past while on earth. I found out what it was like to be human. What being human means to me is finding my way back home to the creators who are not of earth but are extraterrestrial and they are those who hover in spacecraft above earth and can maneuver under the water on earth...

Is Jesus the door, and God the building in which we live with the omnipresence being the universe or is there more? Mohamed and other leaders are dead and gone. Gone where? Does anyone really know until they are dead themselves? I died. I know things but some things and not all things.

It does not matter where their biological vessel or physical body was originally conceived. In other words, they can be from another planet and galaxy. This does not mean that they are not part of the humanoid species...

Atlantis, Lemuria, Semuria, Athens, North America as an Indian, Maya, Egypt are past life memories real? Where do they come from if not inside our souls?

Like computers that most of us are familiar with using at the office or in our home, I have learned a great deal about people, places, things, and services offered while I am visiting this planet. We are explorers...

We are all spiritual intellectuals consisting of energy in human form.

We are all here to be a part of something wonderful and much larger than ourselves in one container unit...

When one thinks about themselves in this way the whole reason that we are here on earth makes sense. Why else would we be put here on a planet with an inner guidance system of desiring to survive no matter what that was implanted as life by our creators. One regardless of the location will still desire to maintain life and survive or is that simply a perception of mine? Some people when lost will take their own lives.

Killing has always been the one eternal negative energy or sin in religious faiths. We are not here to end our own lives but to live life to it´s fullest and to accrue energy and maintain energy while we discover and investigate life and create energy of all types, shapes, forms, and matter...

Let us begin learning about others that resemble ourselves on earth first. Although this may not be our own home planet, we are here now.

We all may be created of energy and/or spirit in side an earthly vessel or physical body but we all did not land in the same proximity when we came to earth. We all were born into separate areas and were placed on separate continents which we decided would be called home...

...Is their a mid-level where God and the celestial kingdom exists and is their a lower realm for angels and another third of the host of Heaven? Is earth and humans lower in spirit than God because they were created in God´s image/ Do the one´s called angels really have to bow down to humans because we have a spirit, and soul in a human body and the angels are lacking a portion of this creation? What of the Nephalem, the angels of good, or demons of bad? Were there really good and bad angels or only good and bad spirits on earth?..

I learned that all those beings that were of other places and matter from other locations other than earth were all like me and were curious about themselves, their planet, and mine. I learned that we were all basically the same regardless of our energy and matter.

I learned that extraterrestrials were simply sentient intelligent beings that were learning about life and what being a sentient human intelligent being on earth is all about. I learned to accept myself, my species, my world, my galaxy, and my universe. I learned that being human is about making ET UFO contact. Knowing I am human but come from ET origin and seeing UFO´s is okay with me. I may be human and ET and there are others the same as me.

This article is dedicated to all those humans on earth but specially those who are choosing to assist me in building the Ascension Center.
OK, you can unwrap your head now.

I want to write some witty comments about this, but what could I possibly add that was funnier and more bizarre than what's already here? It's got everything; New Age babble, Creationist crapulence, UFOs, Atlantis, reincarnation, religion... this is it. I have struck the motherload of woo and its name is Theresa Janette Thurmond Morris.

All of these things go quite well together, really. Is it truly any more bizarre to believe that one is an extraterrestrial spiritual intellectual than it is to think that a magical sky-man poofed life into existence? Theresa doesn't think so, and neither do I. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

I know that I, for one, will be spending the rest of today looking for the spaceships hovering in the sky and under the water. Someone has to make the droids get back in those trees!

For those whose appetite for even more insane woo has only been whetted, here's a link to more information about Theresa J. Thurmond Morris God Emperor of Dune's Ascension Center. Click it to learn more about how:
  • GUS, a crashed alien shuttlecraft, gave us extraterrestrial technology that's already in use in your home!
  • ...alien spacecraft use technetium as a power supply... and you can, too!
  • ...making a profit from the Internet is wrong and ruining the mission of protection undertaken by UFO pilots!
  • ...Theresa will reveal her true self and mission in December 2012!
  • ...and much, much more!
Heck, she even has a CV for your perusal in case anyone wants to hire her to, I don't know, consult on how to build underwater flying saucers in order to construct pyramids in Lemuria for Jesus.

You know, the Internet is an amazing thing. It can unite all sorts of woo and give rise to entire wooful movements. In fact, the Discovery Institute ought to consider beaming Morris up to their mother ship. She'd make an ideal Senior Fellow. She and Michael Medved could be a whole new Dynamic Duo of Woo!

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