August 19, 2008

Bigfoot Body: Scamsquatch is Made of Rubber

Color me surprised! The latest "evidence" of bigfoot, purported to have been discovered by Rick Dyer and Matthew Whitton and hawked by Tom Biscardi, turns out to indeed have been nothing more than a rubber suit. Biscardi is claiming that he wasn't in on the scam and that he was ripped off by Dyer and Whitton. Those two have apparently holed up somewhere until the heat dies down.

Bigfoot Body Revealed to Be Halloween Costume
By Paul Wagenseil, Fox News

The excitement over a supposed Bigfoot body that built all last week, culminating Friday in a circus-like press conference in Palo Alto, Calif., collapsed like a wet soufflé over the weekend as an independent investigator found out it was all fake. owner Tom Biscardi paid an "undisclosed sum" to Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, the two Georgia men who say they found the body, for their frozen corpse and the privilege of trotting them out in front of TV cameras.

At the same time, Biscardi sent self-described "Sasquatch detective" Steve Kulls back to Georgia to check out the body.

Kulls, it's safe to say, was severely disappointed.

The upshot? The real Bigfoot, once found, is now missing. So are Whitton, Dyer and Biscardi's money...

"I extracted some [hair] from the alleged corpse and examined it and had some concerns," Kulls writes. "We burned said sample and said hair sample melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair."

Kulls called Biscardi in California, who told him to heat the body to speed up thawing.

"Within one hour we were able to see the partially exposed head," Kulls continues. "I was able to feel that it seemed mostly firm, but unusually hollow in one small section. This was yet another ominous sign."

Then came the clincher.

"Within the next hour of thaw, a break appeared up near the feet area. ... I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot..."

The Biscardi team immediately went into crisis mode. Biscardi called Whitton and Dyer at their California hotel. They admitted it was a hoax and agreed to sign a promissory note at a meeting set for 8 a.m. Pacific time at the hotel.

But when Biscardi got there, he "found that they had left..."
Bigfoot's true identity revealed!There you go, folks, Georgia bigfoot was a rubber hoax. The funniest part of this is that Biscardi bills himself as a "bigfoot expert." That's a term about as meaningful as "faith healing." Bigfoot experts aren't expert at anything other than self-promotion. No evidence of giant ape-like hominids in present day North America has ever been found, nor will any ever be found. There isn't an ecosystem in North America that has all of the right resources to support a population of very large simians of a size capable of sustaining itself in perpetuity. Even we humans have to utilize technology to be able to live here. Unless bigfoot were engaged in complex social behavior, building shelter of some kind and coordinating hunting parties with its fellows and the like, there's no way anything like it could persist on this continent.

The closest thing we have to a sasquatch in this part of the planet is probably Ron Jeremy. As far as I know, he engages in complex social behavior. If you see what you think might be a bigfoot lurking in the woods, say hello. It's probably Ron.

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